Romancing right

Today, which many people all over the world and also in Singapore will celebrate as 'Valentine's Day', is the feast day of St Valentine. He was a priest and martyr, executed on Feb 14. Here, we are told that he is the patron saint of 'affianced couples, bee keepers, engaged couples, epilepsy, fainting, greetings, happy marriages, love, lovers, plague, travellers (and) young people'. I suppose this day has become what it is partly because of some of the things on that list. Now, if people over the years had chosen to focus on the 'bee keepers' or 'fainting' parts instead, I wonder what we today would be celebrating in a commercialised way!

Anyhow, I have found this translation of a Goethe love poem which is quoted in Wedding. In this translation, the poem is rather unromantically entitled 'Proximity of the Beloved One'.

I think of thee, whene'er the sun his beams o'er ocean flings;
I think of thee, whene'er the moonlight gleams in silv'ry springs.
I see thee, when upon the distant ridge the dust awakes;
At midnight's hour, when on the fragile bridge the wanderer quakes.
I hear thee, when yon billows rise on high, with murmur deep.
To tread the silent grove oft wander I, when all's asleep.
I'm near thee, though thou far away mayst be-- Thou, too, art near!
The sun then sets, the stars soon lighten me.
Would thou wert here!

(I have a little problem with how line 4 fits in, but never mind...)

Actually, I kind of like this kind of old-fashioned mushy love poetry. The teacher of a couple of the characters in the show introduced it to them as the poem to recite during a wedding proposal. I don't know if something is lost in the translation to Korean but isn't this a 'separation' (and therefore sad) love poem? It's weird that they are all quoting it left, right and centre. It's like playing that famous 'separation' love song, 'I will always love you' at weddings!

OK lah, let me not begrudge anyone their celebrations or poetry recitation. It is sad enough that only 7 out of 10 people believe that marriage is forever.

A lesson in love

I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.
-Mother Teresa

Most of the time my eyes just glaze over when I see article upon article of football news. One caught my glazing eye over the weekend, though - 'De la Cruz - Mother Theresa in boots', because of the familiar name. Mother Teresa, that is. It was the first time I’d ever heard of this de la Cruz guy, an EPL player who hails from Ecuador (GNI per capita US$2,630; as a comparison, Singapore’s is US$27, 490 – source: BBC country profiles).

His is a great story to illustrate that famous Chinese saying about not forgetting your roots.

According to the article, ‘Each month a proportion of that salary (about S$150,000) Reading pay him - be it 10 per cent in January or 20 per cent in February - goes direct to the village’ (where he grew up). (Picture and profile from here)

Here's what he has been credited for:
1. 'The 2002 World Cup,' de la Cruz reflects, 'financed 18 kilometres of water pipes and a treatment system. The 2006 World Cup was important because the success means I can finance a new sports and community centre.'
2. His mother manages his foundation, which has plans to build 40 new homes.
3. Built a clinic and pays the doctor, dentist and nurse there. (Prior to that, people from his village had to travel to another town for medical treatment)
4. Built a school which some 200 children attend, their books, lessons and meals sponsored by him, of course.

Here's what he has to say about all this:
'Football... gave me a great opportunity. I love children, I love to see them happy, and I am fortunate to be in a position to help.'

I’m not sure about the comparison to Mother Teresa, but I am impressed by de la Cruz.

Of course, one might argue: but he earns so much now, what. Does that matter? The point is that he is giving part of what he earns to very worthy causes. I don’t know this for sure but my guess is he didn’t join his club just to get money for donations, so he’s really free to do what he wants with his salary. And the fact of the matter is that he is giving some of it away regularly.

In a traditional Chinese context, this would be seen as remembering and honouring one's roots. In a western context, this would be seen as love. How are we doing as little love 'pencils'?

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
-Mother Teresa

Would you go on a blind date?

Recently I met this lady who kindly thought I was much younger than I actually am – bless her heart, as they say! She told me about her ‘swinging bachelor’ son and asked me if I was attached. Ha ha… I guess I should take that as a compliment. Well, it did set me thinking about blind dates.

I think it’s an age thing. I probably would have baulked at the idea of a blind date when I was in my 20s. However, at my current age, if I weren’t married, I think my answer to the question would be, ‘You bet I would!’ Ha ha, sounds like I’m so desperate.

The thing is, since one’s chances of meeting someone get slimmer with each passing year, as long as the blind date is arranged by someone trustworthy, who won’t set you up with lechers, dangerous criminals and the like, I guess one might just give it a go.

As everyone knows, ‘meeting someone’ is a national problem and now with the SDU closed down (I forgot why), perhaps more entrepreneurial types might want to jump at the chance to fill in the gap. Actually, I thought the SDU played a very useful role in providing a platform for people to meet in all sorts of interesting/boring/unusual/conservative contexts. Where else would you find the chance to meet so many people?

It is only the rare few who just happen to bump into the (hitherto unknown) person they end up marrying (so I’m rather surprised that I actually know two people who married guys they bumped into at the shopping centre! I.e., different shopping centres and different guys). Less rare are the ones who marry people they meet at work, but even then, the chances of this are not all that high. Then there’s the pub scene, which I hear is not too bad a try but not everyone is a pub person.

One solution – you must meet the person you will marry while you’re still in school. But this one is tough, due to the various complications and problems that may arise and anyway, I’m not sure if most parents are in favour of this. Guess why I’m getting slightly worried about the boy telling me he wants to meet this female ex-classmate during recess (because they are now no longer in the same class) ‘forever’?

No, I’m definitely not going to encourage it!!

Anyhow, there will always be a large enough number of people who leave school single to warrant other measures. I’ll be interested to see how the commercial world takes this up.

I don’t know if K drama is an accurate reflection of what really goes on in Korean society, but if their shows are anything to go by, blind dates seem to be the done thing there and often, the parents or relatives have something to do with it. I also read about parks in China where parents exchange photos of their children (i.e. grown up ones!) to help them get dates.

So there’s a role for family and friends, too.

However, I also remember a conversation I had with an ex-colleague many years ago when we were joking about introducing girls to this guy we knew. She said that we had better not do it because if they met and eventually married but eventually broke up (i.e. after marriage), we would feel guilty for life. Then, she said of her then twentysomething son, ‘I’m going to leave him alone.’

Is there a place for matchmaking and blind dates?
The blind date from the beginning of Wedding.

My 200th post, and it's a good thing I'm discussing a national issue and not some frivolous nonsense!