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I know what's good for you

Heh heh... this is not a political post. Just experimenting with the art of using slightly misleading titles.

I'm writing today about an article in the weekend edition of the International Herald Tribune. Wah, you might be thinking, suddenly so high-class, ah? From TODAY to IHT.

Hee hee... I'm not so high-class, lah. Can't remember the last time I even went near a copy of IHT. It just so happened that this copy landed near me, and I glanced through it, glazing over articles like 'Gas pump geopolitics' by Thomas L. Friedman, which I knew I should read but didn't. Then I saw this: 'For Japanese children, little time to daydream' by Kumiko Makihara (Sorry no link, can't find the IHT archive on their website). Now, this is the kind of article that I will read.

Kumiko Makihara writes about her 2nd grade son's packed after-school schedule:
Thursday - soccer practice, then abacus class, then homework and piano practice
Friday - swimming and abacus
Saturday - English and judo
(she didn't say when the piano lesson was)

She says that a survey showed that 90% of 2nd and 3rd grade children go for these 'extra' classes, which include swimming, music and English, and also rhythmic gymnastics, pony riding and lego building. Despite the high cost.

Rather poignantly, she writes (in green):
If Yataro (her son) even lets his mind wander momentarily, someone is always on top of him, whether it's his abacus teacher ordering 'concentration!' or soccer parents shouting 'What's the matter with that goalie?' as he leans against the goal post watching the clouds drift by.

I know I should lessen his load, but each activity seems indispensable...

I guess there will be many Singaporean parents who can put themselves in Kumiko Makihara's Tokyo shoes.

I believe very much in the power of daydreaming and make-believing, and stopping work also put an end to thoughts of sending the boy to this class and that. These two years, the only non-school classes he attends are his cathechism (Sunday school) classes, except for the occasional holiday 'class'. So he does have quite a bit of time to indulge in daydreams and make-believe. No need to go for creative writing class to do that. However, I've been told that 'maybe he's not fulfilling his potential'...

Anyway, last weekend our church had a pre-exam mass for the kids. During the mass, this P3/4 boy prayed to God to 'look after our parents; don't let them be too anxious about our results.' That raised a chuckle among the parents. At the end of the mass, the head cathechist reminded us, 'don't pressurise your children too much.'

I actually feel bad inflicting this barrage of practice exam papers on the boy, whose SA1 (such a foreign term to me) will be next week. Ok lah, at least I only ask him to do part of the paper each time, and just one subject a day (most of the time).

Back to the mass. In his homily ('sermon' after the Bible readings), Fr Suyono (young Indonesian priest who has been with us for the last few years) recounted how when he was in primary school, he had this teacher who constantly told him, 'You are a good boy. Maybe one day you will become a priest.' The 'you are a good boy' part reminded me of Totto-chan's headmaster. And the 'maybe one day you will become a priest' part must have been the ultimate compliment for a young Catholic boy. The power of positive reinforcement. Though I doubt Fr Suyono needed it that much; he doesn't seem like the sort who was always getting into trouble or anything.

Anyway, must remember to be more encouraging and positive, and let him be the young boy that he is.

So I will end today's post with this quote from Steve Biddulph's More Secrets of Happy Children (don't know what happened to my The Secret of Happy Children):
In your heart, you know what's right.

Nails and broken wire also more interesting than EMS

Comments

fuzzoo said…
Sometimes I also wonder if I'm not doing enough i.e. not sending my girls to more classes, especially when i hear of other parents doing this and that and getting tutors. Right now they have swimming and taekwondo and holiday classes (part of day care extra programme, if not i wouldn't bother). And it's not like my daughter is even doing well in her schoolwork. But I don't want her to have even less time to spend with the family or less time to play. Tuition and academic sort of classes I am most against as I don't want my daughter to get the message that academic performance is the criteria to judge one's (or others') self worth. But it's difficult not to scream at her about her terrible maths. I think day dreaming and make believe helps develop a child's mind better than knowing the times table!!
Anonymous said…
Well, Fuzzoo, you can always tell yourself that there's this boy who only goes for cathechism classes!

You've said before that some of maths is related to language and that's really true. I really wonder how children from non-English speaking homes cope. My son sometimes gets 'wordy' questions even for 'mental sums'. In my time, the teacher would just say '28+57' and you work it out mentally. He gets 'story sums' for mental sums too. So you have to work out the 'problem', then work out the answer mentally.

Remember, 'in your heart, you know what's right'!

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