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Time to be heartened?

In yesterday's ST article, "More saying 'I do' and 'I do... away with you'", we are told that there are two encouraging signs in last year's marriage statistics:
  1. While divorce rates were at an 'all-time high', the 'silver lining' is that the number of marriages also went up,
  2. 'Heartening, too, is the fact that remarriages have become increasingly common...'

Sorry to be a wet blanket but here are a couple of (negative) thoughts on the above points:

  1. Will the increased number of marriages mean even more divorces some years later?
  2. I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that people in their second, third,... marriage are at higher risk of divorce, so it isn't always 'heartening' to know that people are getting re-married.

I also have a question about the second point: what do they mean that remarriages have become 'increasingly common'? What is 'common'? Is it like 50% of divorcees get married again or something? 80%? 90%?

I am not against people who re-marry, by the way. That's really up to them and hopefully it's for the best.

Then, there was the head of the National Family Council saying that 'few couples prepare themselves, by attending pre-marriage counselling, for instance, for this vital institution we call marriage.' I'd say that preparation for marriage would have been important during the time when divorce numbers were low too, but I doubt people went for marriage courses in those days. How did (many) more of them manage to stay married? Besides addressing current issues such as lack of preparation and 'changing expectations', might we not be able to learn something from the past too?

Finally, what exactly does the second half of the title mean?

Comments

Lam Chun See said…
If more people are divorcing and then remarrying, of course the no. of marriages will go up. What's so encouraging about that? But if they say the no. of first time marriages are going up, then that's encouraging. Maybe not - if they are going to end up in divorces later.

Anyhow, the 2 statistics shd be separated. No of divorces at all time - that's disastrous. Just think of all the problems and pain created; esp. for the children. No wonder young couples nowadays don't want to have children.
fuzzoo said…
Maybe journalists are just not very good at making sense of numbers - as Chun See points out, it's just more marriages per person. What they should do is to count the number of married persons at any one time, not the number of marriages.

I think there were fewer divorces in the past partly because women then were not financially independent and looked to their husbands for financial support. Also divorce was perhaps more of a taboo then than now. And perhaps people then had a more pragmatic and less romantic view of marriage and were thus less unlikely to be disappointed. So people then (mainly the women I suppose) were more tolerant of their spouse's misgivings. I feel the problem these days is also that people are so busy with their careers that they do not have the time needed to cultivate a close relationship whether with their spouse or their children, so this too could be a contributing factor to the raising divorce rate and incidence of juvenile delinquency.
Anonymous said…
Hi Mr Lam and Fuzzoo,
I looked at the article again and it says the stats are the 'number of marriages registered', so that would include remarriages, I'm sure.

Yeah, life today is more complicated so marriage has also become more complicated...

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