I read that line some years ago and wondered how many young people actually believed that. Today, during the season of poring over our children's mid-year marks, I still wonder about it.
I must admit that it's often hard for me as a parent to think less about grades than I do. We try very hard to keep our 'worries' about grades to ourselves (and our friends) and don't make a big deal about them with the boy. I'm sure we all know in our heart of hearts that each child has his/her own strengths and weaknesses and should therefore be allowed to develop accordingly and that what's more important is his/her overall well-being. However, unfortunately for many Singaporean children (and no doubt children elsewhere in the world too), we are such a grade-obsessed society. The boy has at least 2 friends who get caned for not scoring this or that mark. So sad, huh?
In today's 'Which Primary School' supplement, there is this parent who figures she and her husband are among a minority of parents who see 'playtime' as more important than 'academic excellence' in their choice of school. She says, 'When I tell people how happy my children are in school, the usual response is "But how is the school's standard?"' So hard to escape from grades.
I guess the boy should be grateful his parents are also in this minority who chose a nearby school over the further-away-premier school, which he could have gotten into. Even now, when he is already in P3, people still ask, 'Why didn't you send him to X School?'
(By the way, X-tongfang, you are also in this minority, aren't you? Ha ha, so 'many' of us in this minority.)
On hindsight, we have no regrets because he often lacks the self-motivation and self-discipline (ahem, some friends will recognise those... er... traits) that I think are necessary to survive well in a premier school. On the whole, his teachers have been encouraging though annoyed by his inattention and lack of interest. He really is progressing 'at his own pace', which I'm not sure we would have been able to allow him to if he were in a premier school. His friends are from a whole range of socio-economic backgrounds, ethnic groups and nationalities. In other words, there have been more plusses than anything. As his pre-nursery teacher (whom we met just the other day) affirmed, what's important is that he's happy.
So, while I do still hope he will eventually do well enough to go to an above-average secondary school (a mother can hope, can't she? :-)), it's good to know that, for the next 3 1/2 years, we can continue waking up at a decent hour each morning!
I must admit that it's often hard for me as a parent to think less about grades than I do. We try very hard to keep our 'worries' about grades to ourselves (and our friends) and don't make a big deal about them with the boy. I'm sure we all know in our heart of hearts that each child has his/her own strengths and weaknesses and should therefore be allowed to develop accordingly and that what's more important is his/her overall well-being. However, unfortunately for many Singaporean children (and no doubt children elsewhere in the world too), we are such a grade-obsessed society. The boy has at least 2 friends who get caned for not scoring this or that mark. So sad, huh?
In today's 'Which Primary School' supplement, there is this parent who figures she and her husband are among a minority of parents who see 'playtime' as more important than 'academic excellence' in their choice of school. She says, 'When I tell people how happy my children are in school, the usual response is "But how is the school's standard?"' So hard to escape from grades.
I guess the boy should be grateful his parents are also in this minority who chose a nearby school over the further-away-premier school, which he could have gotten into. Even now, when he is already in P3, people still ask, 'Why didn't you send him to X School?'
(By the way, X-tongfang, you are also in this minority, aren't you? Ha ha, so 'many' of us in this minority.)
On hindsight, we have no regrets because he often lacks the self-motivation and self-discipline (ahem, some friends will recognise those... er... traits) that I think are necessary to survive well in a premier school. On the whole, his teachers have been encouraging though annoyed by his inattention and lack of interest. He really is progressing 'at his own pace', which I'm not sure we would have been able to allow him to if he were in a premier school. His friends are from a whole range of socio-economic backgrounds, ethnic groups and nationalities. In other words, there have been more plusses than anything. As his pre-nursery teacher (whom we met just the other day) affirmed, what's important is that he's happy.
So, while I do still hope he will eventually do well enough to go to an above-average secondary school (a mother can hope, can't she? :-)), it's good to know that, for the next 3 1/2 years, we can continue waking up at a decent hour each morning!
Comments
I think your husband and many (or most) of his countrymen and -women are better at putting things in perspective than us Singaporeans. Our perspective includes grades and getting into a good school/class, etc in a very big way. I guess that's our problem and that's why we worry so much about these things even though we tell ourselves not to.
In the case of my youngest daughter, who is a mugger, on more than one occasion, my wife and I had to tell not to study so hard.
But even if one is very particular about his child's achievements, I believe in the future, academic excellence does not carry as much weight as it did in our time, so why push them so hard.
As for schools, we sent our children to 'branded' schools mainly because of we want them to have a Christian environment plus my wife having taught in neighbourhood school before was very worried about the kind of friends they will get to make.
I hope you are right that our children will not have to depend on just their academic results in the future. In Singapore.
Fuzzoo, I'm sure you are right that non-academic factors contribute to one's success too. That principal's vision is really admirable!
Well, our kids still need to get through their PSLE, O and A levels... Those of us whose kids are not the 'high-performing' types just have to keep reminding ourselves that life is more than exam results.